How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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