If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
