That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
