My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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