thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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