do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
