Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You dont lie about slip and slides
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
