he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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