I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
