Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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