We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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