I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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