I am in a vortex of obligation.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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