You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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