He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
