I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
