i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
