I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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