How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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