It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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