I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
