he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
