I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
