Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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