Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I need to calm my uterus...
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
