Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
