Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
