my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Blow job season was short but glorious.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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