A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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