By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
The feeling are messing with the penis
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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