he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You made out with two different species that night
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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