I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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