Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
