hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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