Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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