so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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