At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
