Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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