awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
