Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Your cock deserves a montage
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
