do herpes really smell.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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