well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
