Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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