AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I am midnight drunk by noon
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
