just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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