He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
