Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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