i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
