I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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