Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
