i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
