Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
