ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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