I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
