I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
she smelled like a LAN party
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
