if i can run in heels then i can drive
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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